Monday, January 28, 2008

Black Monday




In terms of my career as an artist, I primarily operate on faith. I apply to this and this and that, over and over and over again, thinking that someday, something’s gotta give. I continue to make video after video and, now, neon after neon, believing that, someday, they’ll be seen by other people other than my friends and that they might even make a difference. I write email after email, make cold call after cold call, shake hand after hand, and continue to believe that it will eventually have effect.

The fact is, though, I do not have a career as an artist. It has been a one-way conversation.

My faith is evaporating. The art world has reared its ugly head at me, and my love of art is becoming its victim.

So, I ask, what is the point of continuing? I’m staying on board partly just because there’s a smidgen of dedication left; and partly because I do not know how to let go of this part of my identity. What else am I?

8 comments:

Michael Konrad said...

Don't give up!
First you have to do it for yourself. Even if no one else validates it, it should still be meaningful enough for you that to some degree external validation is unnecessary.

Of course I realize this is unreasonable, and everyone needs to feel like their work matters outside of their studio at some point. But if you MUST make your work, than you MUST NOT stop just because the powers that be haven't responded yet.

Molly Stevens said...

I know you're right, Mike. In my head. But, I sometimes lose the MUST and that's worrisome.

I'd like to get involved with a community I can be part of, rather than with one I'm trying to get into. I have a few ideas, which I'll try to write about tomorrow.

Hungry Hyaena said...

Molly, I've found that the book "Art & Fear" is useful, in its way. It can be a bit bland at times and even dips into the realm of self-help, but when I find myself in the bottom of a trough - either external or my own mental mess - I'll pull it off the shelf and revisit it. It's a quick read, too, and so worth the risk! ;)

Good luck.

Molly Stevens said...

Thanks, Christopher!

Multi-Media Artist said...

I've been feeling a bit like this lately as well but also I have to admit that I really haven't been putting in effort to get my stuff out there but have been more focused on ideas, creating and reading. It all goes back to the conversation do I even want to make things that can be sold... then the realization, shit I'm really never going to make money off of something that's not even an object... in terms of conceptional or street and public art. I think not making a living off art is possibly what keeps us producing good works. And I think winter is always hard. I also feel frustrated that there is no such thing as a weekly artist meeting where all artist can meet and talk about issues, work etc. I keep hoping there is and I just haven't heard about it yet. Maybe time to get something started.

Molly Stevens said...

Always good to know other artists feel the same way, MMA. Seems like blogs have been a way for artists to meet and talk. Although I prefer bodies.

Molly Stevens said...

Always good to know other artists feel the same way, MMA. Seems like blogs have been a way for artists to meet and talk. Although I prefer bodies.

melisa said...

So do I , lets hang out sometime. I like your stuff a lot. -mma