Meanwhile, in the studio...

Unwillingly, I picked up the paintbrush. Kicking and screaming, I tell you because of all the new issues it raises, from the technical (which gesso?) to the philosophical (why paint?) to the esthetic (palette?) to the concept (word as form or content?) to the psychological (Ha! Who are you kidding? You little…). But, I had no choice, because at all costs, I want to avoid formula. And I had a hunch the graphite drawings could have become a formula at this point.

There’s this idea of looking for something in what you make. Do you know before hand what that is? Or when you see it after making it? More and more, I’m leaning toward the latter.

What bothers me about the academics is the official-ness, I think. And that’s what worries me about the talk/presentation I gave about text-based art and which I’ll be giving again: the pressure to be expert, comprehensive. Above all, I don’t want to feel the heaviness of categorization or knowing. As if I were in school. And yet, I like to expand with words. And I like to explain (even if stems from a defensiveness). What works for me is when an explanation opens out a concept rather than closes it in.

And what I like about a drawing is when it shows something I can’t fully explain.