Anyone who is developing a form of self-expression (and anyone who reads this blog), is probably familiar with the fact that the art path is a winding one. There’s rejection, disappointment, self-doubt, but also discovery, growth and sometimes deep satisfaction.
Recently, my road has been a bit more rocky than smooth, which has prompted some of those dearest to me to encourage me to focus more on the pleasure of making than the pressure of exhibiting.
I’m not sure this is possible for me.
Because part of me is convinced that art (in any of its forms) is a public act. Art will atrophy if it is not seen, heard or read by an audience. Art is about contributing to and extracting meaning from how we live as a society and as individuals. But in order for art to do what it can do, it has to exist out there.
But maybe it is possible.
Because another part of me is suspicious that I make because I crave to be recognized, seen, heard. Perhaps I am motivated by a desire to fill a psychological deficiency. Perhaps if I just finally accept that the Mother will never say “Beautiful Job!” I’ll be set free and be a better artist.
Anyone getting the impression that I’m starting to repeat myself in these posts? Next time, I'm changing the subject.
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3 comments:
You make a lot of sense in talking about why you want the satisfaction of your work to go beyond yourself. It's hard to find fault with what you say. ...Does it have to be either/or? Maybe you can continue to push and struggle for more public recognition while keeping in mind, at the same time, that you're doing something you love to do and something that gives you pleasure in itself...
Yes.
I probably come off as more grim on the blog than I actually feel (sometimes). Or maybe I just get it all out in the posts.
That's OK. I like grim.
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