(Molly Stevens, Heads of State, 2010, oil stick on paper, 40" x 60")
When drawing, I’m constantly making decisions: to go in a certain direction, to change a color, to stop working on a piece. I call the shots, but I’ve always had someone who would say (who I've wanted so badly to say), “yes, that’s right, I’m behind you on this one.” This person changes. But she's always someone I’m trying to emulate or please; she's always someone who knows. More than I do.
At this point in time, there seems to be no one I can rely on or turn to but my own damn self. Sure, there’s the encouraging word from friends and loved ones, but there’s no mentor, and this has left me feeling both isolated and uncertain (to use the tamest of words).
And yet this is likely a prime opportunity for me to go my own way and make work that really looks like my own. It’s just that… what if I make a mistake.
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4 comments:
Love that drawing/painting. If it's a mistake, then make more mistakes!
I can relate completely. Making art can be exhilarating but also terribly lonely. You can't be afraid of making mistakes. Sometimes mistakes can lead to breakthroughs. Or sometimes they are just mistakes.
Hey there, Max, glad you like this one. I do too.
And yes, Patricia (F?), in my head, I know what you mean about mistakes. Of course. In practice though, it goes down with a little more difficulty. And then there are mistakes on the page (easy) and mistakes in "life" (hard). Thanks for writing.
I guess what I was trying to say is that fear of making mistakes can lead to very safe work. I've been guilty of that for sure. Alone in the studio is the best time to take risks (easier said than done). It's one reason I'm working on paper right now, I can always flip it over and use the other side if I don't like what's happening. Canvas seems somehow more permanent. Yes it's Patricia F.
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